Jane Haque's Blog
OOPS! I MADE A MISTAKE.
It happens. EVERYONE makes mistakes. You do too.
We are human beings, after all. We get tired, we forget, we drop or break things, we say things we didn't really mean, we do bad stuff. We also do great things: we help, take care, follow the rules, tell others how much we like them, we smile, we are generous, we have super ideas, we do good. But everyone makes mistakes from time to time.
What mistakes have you made recently?
One day last week, I forgot to put enough money in the bank account to pay some bills. It seemed like a huge mistake. I was really worried. I was afraid to tell Grandpa. I thought he might get mad at me since I had said I would take care of it. I wondered if I should tell him, or just wait until he found out. Of course, I did go to the bank later and got everything straightened out. It would cost us a small fine, but it was not really serious. But I only told him AFTER I had fixed everything with the bank. He was still a bit mad. He was disappointed that he couldn't count on me. I said I was sorry and that I would never do it again. But, I knew he thought about me a bit differently now. So I asked what I could do to make it up. He said 'Nothing. Forget about it.' But I still could feel he was annoyed.
When we make a mistake, it's important to clean it up. I mean correct the error, yes. But I also mean tell the person who is affected by it. And say sorry. Why? Because it makes us feel better, and not feel guilty. Guilt is just junk that we carry around and feel upset about if we don't clean it up. Guilt piles up and piles up, and, then whenever we are not feeling too good, it spills out and makes us feel even worse. Deal with it right away.
And yes, at first, that other person who was hurt might not 'forgive' you. After all, they don't have to! But, eventually they will. And then they will like you even more for being honest and cleaning up your mistake mess. Go ahead and say "I'm sorry". Do it for you.
Want to go the extra mile and earn that forgiveness sooner? Here's another tip: When you say I'm sorry, tell the person why you are sorry. I could have said something like this to Grandpa: "I forgot to put that money in the bank on time. I'm really sorry because I know it will cost us a fine, and you find that annoying and wasteful. And you probably feel disappointed in me. I already fixed it at the bank. And from now on, I'm going to be more careful about this because you matter a whole lot to me!" - or something like that. Imagine how surprised he would have been if I said all that. He probably would have just given me a hug :)
ABOUT Grandma Jane
"In writing this BLOG, I think of my own grandchildren and the questions they might ask me. But I could be 'Grandma' to anyone under the age of, well, 30! Because I have had many experiences in my life, and have learned from teachers everywhere, I do know some things and I'm willing to share them with you. Please write back and let me know how it works out in your life." (Jane Haque, a.k.a "Grandma Jane")
"The opinions expressed here are my own. What I say is neither right nor wrong, correct nor incorrect, accurate nor inaccurate. It is merely my thoughts at this time. Comments I have heard from others will appear in quotes (""); I will attempt to mention the name or initials of the person I quote. I can be a bit 'off the wall' in my statements, although I do promise my language will not be offensive or profane to most! In turn, although I am always flattered when others speak about me, please do attribute what I say or write to me alone, and give me credit for my words. Thank you." (Jane Haque)